my short film is about a young teenage boy who struggles with mental health, who doesn't know how to cope with his emotions. we see this through a bag he holds and can get bigger when his mental health takes a turn for the worst. he has been dreading and worrying over a test he is going to receive his grade for it, he believes he has done terribly and is expecting the worst case scenario. he finally gets his test back and his worst fear has come true, he has failed. he is distraught his emotions are overwhelming(shown by the size of the bag). he goes home disappointed and has lost all hope however his friends come to the rescue and ask for him to play some football with them, this is a major release for him as he becomes happier and joyful(again shown by the size of the bag), he learns how to deal with these struggles and attempts to get help.
above is a summary of my short film. i have sent this to people of different ages, gender etc to gain external knowledge and feedback of my short film to hopefully improve my short film.
here are three reviews I have received:
Name: Marcus Bale
age: 17
Review: after reading the short film summary I really enjoyed how the character develops throughout the film I also enjoyed the ellipsis of the dustbin bag representing his mental health state and how we get to understand his emotions through this and his character expression. I enjoyed this so much because it is different to anything I have seen before. I also enjoyed how it ended with him attempting to fight his mental health and not losing help.
Name: Nikki Aylmer
Age: 29
Review: I am intrigued by the storyline and I am very excited to see it condensed down into 5 minutes. I am also excited to see how the ending will play out however i am concerned that the ending may not make sense and that it may be confusing to the audience. i am intrigued to see how his emotions contribute to the story.
Name: Darren Branch
Age: 47
Review: this short film is nothing like any other short film I have seen because of the storyline structure and I love that it differs from other short films and it is refreshing. I also love the simplicity of this film and this makes the short film relatable for many people who suffer with mental health. I am very fascinated by the short film and i cannot wait to see what happens, however i am concerned about if the reader will understand that the dustbin bag represents his mental health.
My response to the feedback: I have taken on board the feedback and I am glad that people liked my storyline and that people are excited to see how i produce it and how it will turn out. I am also taking on board the feedback about some of the reviewers are concerned about how the ending will work. I am going to finalise the ending and make sure it relates to the story line and that is makes sense and also creates the audience response of happiness for the main character and not annoyed of how it ended. I will also try to create a clear storyboard(post 12) to make sure each scene effectively flows with the storyline.
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